Some of my updated photo which i took very long time ago liao.....

STOP thinking that you are always right ok!!!!
and scold me or said me everyday like no people business!!!
Stop scolding me early in the morning while i still sleeping and spoilt my whole day
why must you always think that your thinking is always right and my is always wrong
when is your first time or last time listen to my thinknig and agree with me ( you never!!!!!)
when ever i have my own thinking and i share with you, you never fail to pour me cold water
are you happy in that manner?

STOP thinking that you are always right!!!!!!
what you said i must fellow, i tired ok............
since young you never fail to compare me with other children (those better one ok, and not the worst one)

WHY can't i just compare you with other parents?
WHY other parents know and what they children one?
WHY other parents never force they child to do anything?
WHY other parents are giving them freedom to do things that their think are right?
WHY other parents never fail to listen to what their children want and what they think?
As a parents you fail to do all this job!!!!
Cause you always think that you are right and i always wrong and always want me to fellow what u think is correct if not i will get scolded like nobody business!!!!
Are you happy to see my life like this?
By doing this you feel more happier is it?

WHY other parents is not rushing their children to go work but you are so different?
WHY other parents are giving their children a chance to study uni but you said if oyu one to study uni go work and save den you go study?
WHY other parents scare their children scare that they do not have enough rest, but you do not give me ample of rest?
WHY do you so urgently want me to be in the working society so urgently?
WHY do you think that i able to cope in the IT field when i only have a diploma cert and not a degree cert ok?
WHY othe parents scare their children colud not find a job that they like, but you want me to find any job even is a job i don't like?
WHY other parents will scare their chidren go find job and get cheated so ask they to take their time to look for a job but you are so different?
WHY other parents will wait for thier chidren to be ready to look for a job but you are so different?
WHY can't i do what thing i want instead you making deasion for me and force me to think alike like you by scolding me non-stop or nag at me when ever you see me..... do you think it work? no it neve work on me ok?
WHY WHY WHY.......



I send RESUME, you got things to said!
I go AGENCY find job, you also got things to said!
I find PART-TIME job, you also got things to scold me!

YOUR thinking is buy newspaper and call them up!
may i know is there any difference?

Can you please stop treating me like this?
Please do not make me to hate you!
cause that is the things that i never ever wonder to do
PLEASE do not make me to stop talknig to you!
PLEASE do not make me to stop anything that is releated to me!
PLEASE do not make me to treat you like a stranger!
PLEASE do not make me to give you a colder shoulder one day!
do you think you will be happy (I guess you never borther or care about me at all)
you just want me to do things that you think is correct
please, the more you scold me, the more i want to do things that you things is wrong

我是吃暖不吃硬!!!!!

I can assure you that, your scolding never fail to hurt me!
Since young i have listen to all your scolding
have you ever thougth of your words before scolding me
do you know how hurt to heard it
please go listen to what u awalys scold me
your words is never nice and is hurting
sometime are words that you never expected that a mother will use to scold a child
if one day i really go into depression or break-down
i think that main causes is by you
the strees that are coming form you

Today my character will become like this mainly becase of you
whenever i have things to express i will never said out (because what ever i said you will never agree with me)
whenever i know something is wrong i will never voice out (cause if i start to said things, you will think i talking back to you, the more you will scold me)
My LACK of confidence (cause whenever i never do well in studies, you never fail to scold me stupid or lazy when i already try my best (when i was a child,in my primary and secondary school days)
I must always be a fellower den a leader(cause i must always do things that you think are correct)
I scare to try new things, cause i fearful or failuar(cause you never be there to encourage or console me when i feeling down)
I moody and hot-temper (cause the words that you use to scold me and said me never fail to hurt me)
IS THAT ENOUGH TO SPOILT MY LIFE AND MY FURTHER?
what i am today is all because of what you have done to me
other people may see me as a happy-go-lucky and cheerful person but i not!!!!!!!

STOP treating me like how your parents treat you ok
it never work in this time anymore
scolding and beating is never a way to solve problem ok!!!!
stop using this metohd to educate me ok
no one will able to take it ok!!!!!!

why other parents 生 thier children to 疼 them
but you are so different
you always pick on me and find faults to scold me
this 20 years didn't i do things that you are proud of it ma?
didn't i do things that you are happy with it ma?
you remember all the tihngs that do wrong,but you never thought of those good things that i have done and you are proud of it?
didn't i have at least one things that i done that make you happy and good that you will prise me?

Please stop calling me to find job! (i will find myself, if you countine like this i can assure you i will not find a job at all)
please stop teaching me how to find a job (i know what to do one ok,please stop tihnking that what you said is always right ok)
please stop telling me what i need to do to find a job(i still can only said what you think is not always correct ok)
please stop selecting for me what kind of job i need to do (you are not me, you are not doing the job ok, you do know if i like the job or i can cope with them job ok)
please stop thinking that you are always right
please stop scolding me ok (i need someone to talk to me properly and guide me not someone who scold me like nobody business)

THE WORST PART IS!!
i never ask money from her
i last few week everyday buy newspaper she never said or prise me, i only 2 days never buy and she scold me like siao!!
i only rested one 1 1/2 months ok not 1 1/2 years ok!!!!!
i send resume or go find agency find she never prise or said me i doing the right thing (i don't expecte you to prise me in the first place ok but i don't need those scolding form you ok!!!!)
Please stop all this!!!!


i really can not predict what will i do if you countine to do this (it make me want to go against you and giving you a cold shuolder)

PLEASE STOP IT, IF NOT I WILL GO CRAZY ONE DAY!!!! I SERIOUS(at this rate you are forcing me)

SOTP CALLING ME TO FIND JOB

STOP CALLING BACK HOME and ask if i got look for job a not

IT IS VERY IRRITATING ONE

If i want to work i will go look for myself one

don't always nag at my ear

early in the morning ask me wake up to go buy newspaper and call

why can't i just look at the internet

i just want to rest....

i know what to do

why other people is not doing this but you are doing that to me

do you know how irritated it is?

i know you are for my own good but can you pls think of my feeling first......

pls don't do that anymore.......

i really don't like it ok.......

i find part-time you also said....

i don't find you said i never earn money

what actually you one??

can you pls stop telling me what to do

i know what to do one ok

if i really want i will go look for myself one ok

it hurt you know and it's irritated you know

pls stop it, it make me feel like not talking to you and no findinig job because of you pls pls pls......

really very vexed now.......

i offically announced that i broked now.......

so from now onwards if there is not a need i will not go out :)

i feel that people around me know me better den i know myself

yes! i am a person who scare to try new things

as i scare that i will fail to do it

i just do like those feeling......

i just don't like to suit to the environment

instead i want the environment to suit me

maybe that i the one or only reason why my friend is so limited.....

how to change?

i really don't like it....

really..........really..........really

i want to make a change

a brand new me

i really don't like myself now.......

i want to change...................change......................change

hi......

it's me again.......

it seen that i have been rest at home almost 2 months liao.....

now have been searching for job for high and low.....

should i go back into IT field.......

writting application???

when my coding is sucks?

admin job is what i always wanted to work as in the first place.....

but the pay is so low and can not climb too high........

even i do admin it will not last long also :)

i really don't know what i want in life.....

application can earn higher pay and by doing this is releated in what i studying

writing code is hard but after that when you see the result you feel the satisfied there......

i really lost..... i really don't know what i should do?

will someone out there tell me what to do?

a lot of people told me is ok if your code is not good, a lot of fresher also don't know anything

but the probem is i don't know anything and i need to learn from basic

do i really have the talent to write code and earn big bucks?

my aunt told me she also not good at coding when she first started but after a few year of

experience she is earning RM8000($4000) now..........

in my life, will i ever earn such a high pay?

can someone pls tell me what i should i do,

i really lost. pls tell me and teach me what i should do........

i really lost... very lost

my life has no aim, has no goal

i really need someone to guide me????

i don't want waste my life doing things that are meaningless......

can someone out there pls teach and tell me what i sholud do......

i will be really greatful.......

15/3/2007
was a busy day for me.
i get out of house at 1 plus in the afternoon.....
i went from east to west... look like amazing race to me......

1st destination:Parkway
went there to buy present for my dear zhi hui cousin :)... the present she always wanted. hope she will like her present
her birthday coming soon liao
finally i collected the money from my 2 beloved cousin you know who you are ah.no need for me to state your name out.....
it make me like a loan shake keep asking your for money :(
at first i ask them to transfer the money to my bank....
they said that it's so ma fan and they are not good at transfering so no choice i have to personally go to meet them.... i have to meet them sperately
one at vivio city and one at PS......
after buying the present rush to sim lim.......

2nd Destination: Sim Lim
went to sim lim to take a look at the price for different laptop.....
not i want to buy laptop so no worries...
is my cousin jia wen want to check out laptop that are cheaper and better.....
from parkway to sim lim i was so tired that i slept in the bus.
upon arrival at sim lim we will so lost and we have no ideal which store that we should go
before stepping in
there was someone giving out broucher....
inside consists of different price for different laptop that means i no need go to different floors to check for the price. the time was like eveinng 4 plus going to 5 liao.
we sit cab to coffee club at holland V.......

3rd Destination: Coffee Club @ Holland Village
Where there to drink coffee and have some light snack..
we spent like 1 hours plus there chatting.....
enjoying the atmosphere.....
i have a cup of mocha:in my life time that is the worst mocha i ever had... :p
we chat a lot.....
he even mentioned that "what do you mean by your life is meningless???" that was a message i send to him a few weeks ago....don't worry.....
i not thinking anything foolish....
i just feel that i got no friend.....
that all...
i envy those people who has so many friends
so many dates.... that all
nothing foolish.
don't worry....
in conclusion he think my friend is so limit
as i do not have same hobby with my friend
i those waiting people to ask me out and
waiting for people to find me instead i go to know new friend
he think that is time for me to change liao
if not my friend willl decreasing each day....
he even found out that i those people who don't like and don't dare to try new things
that is make me so different from my brother.......
We had so much to talk.... :)
i even told him if i have 10 friends that is like him where we had so many things to talk...
and the topic is never ending.... den i will be very happy liao :)

4rd Destination:
Jurong point was our last destination of the day. when there shop for awhile. there was so many people there..... brought a t-shirt a mario mushroom t-shirt :).....
birthday card and wrapping paper :)
home sweet home :)

craving for Ben & Jerry's Ice-Cream...............anyone ice-cream?? Pls date me if you one ice-cream.....need accompany for ice-cream @ vivio city.....anyone out there?

Coffee Club @ Holland V at 15/3/2008 (I just enjoy this kind of life style!!!!!)

silly Photo part 1: i swear i never touch the straw!!!!!




silly photo part 2: is my acting good? i never touch the straw at all.




Mocha Vanillan & Mocha Tropicana





Mocha Tropicana (The worst mocha i ever drink before... it taste like coughing medicine )




Mocha Vanillan (I like this!!!)





Is him enjoying his mocha Vanillan which i suffering with my mocha tropicana



Spice chicken Wings




Potato Wedges

I want Friends!!!!
Looking Back......
i feel that my friend is so limit.....
Where has all my friends go??????
It's hard to find a freinds where you can share
your laughter and sadness with you.....
really envy people who has lot of friend in their life
why can't i just like them?
why is my friend list so limit....
i just don' like this kind of feeling.....
am i not friendly?
am i not good to be a friend?
am i not good enough?
what should i do to have more friends???
can anyone teach me???
it really very hard to find people to be your friends?

Name: Kew Wan Xuan(Cecilia)

Age: 21 years old

DOB: 08 AUG

Zodiac Sign: Leo

School: Geylang Methodist Primary School (1994-1999)

School: Geylang Methodist Secondary School (2000-2005)

School: Temasek Poly(Moblie & Wireless Computing)(2005-2008)

School: University of Society(2008-????)

MY 7 FLOWERS

SLEEP

SLACK @ HOME

FRIENDS

SOMEONE (WA HA HA HA!)

relax and chit-chatting

SHOPPING

love to make friend

My DS