Tuesday, May 22, 2007
recently has been feeling sad and moody. i really don't know why.... :(.................
maybe because in 3 more weeks kelvin will be in the army liao. 3 months of army life,book out on sat and sunday,then have rest for one week, then 3 months again book out on sat and sun then half years of 8 to 5 then for the rest of the 7 and 8 years book out on sat and sun. i really scare that our communication will have lots and lots of problem and that means when he go army i need depent on myself liao.he will not be with me when ever i need him. sometime think of that really really feel very sad liao.
recently has been feeling that i have less friend and friends that really close to me that i can share my probelm with. i don't know why. i has always wish that i can spend more time with my friend spend a good friendship with them. but everyone is busy so is very hard to really meet out to go for a shopping,a dinner or even a movie. i really hope that i will be a closer friendship with all of my friends. and get to know more friends and have more close and best friends where we can share our happy monents.....
i have been feeling that i am a person with no-confidence, a person who is useless,a person who is stupid,person who don't talk much. a person who i don't like at all. I really want to change my character. Change into a character where me myself like it also. teach me how??? how can i be happy,how can not a useless person,how can i stop being stupid,i want to have more confidence. i really not happy at all. really very sad and moody. sometime i really hate myself. why am i like that. why i am living a life that i not happy at all. sometime i want to cry out loud but i just don't have the courage.why am i so useless. i don't have the courage to show all the people around me that i sad instead i must still put on a happy face actually deep down inside my heart i very very sad. i really want to cry, i very sad, very moody. i really don't know what i can do that can make me love myself more. who can help me... :(
got to stop here.hope that i able to face everyday with a big bright smile...... going off....
@ 9:24 PM
last sat when to the cathay with kelvin to watch 200 pound beauty. the show that i wanted to watch a long long time ago liao and i finally got to see it liao. was really very happy.
the show was super nice,super funny,super touching..... from the show taught me a lot of things. we must love ourself and not our look. from the show i also got to know you can do anything you can for the person you like even thought you know that he/she will not love you back. the show think lasted for 1 hours plus ba can't really remeber liao. that day watch the show at 8pm there was a lot of people watching and most of them cry when the touching sceen was show, i almost cry up liao as it was very touching but there was also some funny part then make me laugh non-stop. really enjoy watching the show really don't mind to watch it again.... after watching the show when the burger king at PS.have a long long talk very happy. reach home at 12am...thanks for letting me to sepnd such a wonderful sat night.
@ 8:42 PM
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
i really miss my hair. my long hair. i really sholud not cut my hair at all :(
can i have my hair back?
@ 10:13 PM
It has been the 4 week(1 month ) and i have not done anything at all.Today got pay liao $180 altohught is a bit little but is better then nothing. haha. but sometimes is really very tired sitting there whole day by not doing anything anymore
Yesterday went to cut my hair. this time is really short. I has been keeping my hair for 5 yeras liao and suddenly i hand itchy went to cut it short. actually very heart pain. at frist see the hair style very nice but when look at those photo of my long hair one. my heart really pain. i think i better don't tell kelvin at all if not he will start to scold me again. i just want to change a brand new image. i hope that i will get use to my look faster. haha. now i wish for now is for my hair to grow back faster. i will not touch my hair anymore.......
@ 9:52 PM
Monday, May 07, 2007
Thanks to all my friends who has wish me good luck for my drivnig test. Really very touch cause your still remember this important day of me. I make it. Wait for 2 years liao and i finally make it. I passed!!!! i got my Licence liao. That is my frist attempt...... haha... i got 18 althought not very good lah. but still make it. will imporve on my weakness. Anyone one to be my first passanger??? Really don't know how to express my feeling now... happy? scare? fearful? happy because i has waiting for this paper for very long liao. scare i will be driving without my instructor, paking no marking anymore. no pole anymore. fearful, i must be more careful with the road condition. still have to said a very very big thanks to all my friend and love one thanks for support me and encourage me... your words really make me more relax and more confidence. love your all :)..... today i will pass, some of the credit come from your...... really very happy to know such a good friends and love one for not forget this important days of mine. really very touch..... :) thanks...
@ 11:09 PM
Saturday, May 05, 2007
It has been my second week of SIP in OCBC. and i was not assigned to do anything. Everyday i go there. I sit infront of the computer early in the morning, then chat with my friend at OCBC, after that when to level 9 the stuff loung, time for uno and slack time, then lunch, come back sit infront of the computer again do some chitting, then in no time i find myself back again to the stuff loung and watch tv at the same time uno time. after that when to my table to pack out and go toilet and is time for go home liao.. hahaha actually this is the 10 days i have sepnd for my SIP. When read home i have a hard time writting journal liao. Hope that next week got somethings for us to do and hope is easy also. 68 more days to the end of SIP... hahah.
@ 10:51 PM
I will be having my driving test on moday. Which is 2 more days only. Now my feeling is like scare, confused, anxious,fearful. I really have no confidence at all. I really hope i can make it the very first time, but i know it is very hard for me. I able to get 18 points only. which is very hard. I really very confused, i scare i go into circuit, my parking no matter how i do i will knock the pole, the car will not go in. when i drive on the different road. i will kmock on the kerb. then when at road i scare the car on the road will not give way to me. I scare i will fail. Really i have no confidence at all. I keep tell myself, don't scare don't scare, i need to try my best, even thought i never make it as least i try liao. just treat that as a lesson i can learn from my lesson. but after all i still wish myself all the best and hope i can pass at one go. At least i never waste the money on learning the car. All the best to myself...... Really hope i can passed....... :)
@ 10:37 PM
